Schweden

Our friends Johann and Erika had decided to FINALLY get married. They seem to be following the scandinavian tradition of waiting over a decade to get married (our friend Odvin says he is waiting for his three children to pay for his wedding - they're now 2,4, and 6).

It was an August wedding and everything was light and beautiful. What a joy Stockholm airport is compared to London or JFK, no wait, no hastle, no dirt...no people. Then the journey begins--Sweden is a long country and it takes a LONG time to get to the south. There are a lot of Swedes, who have never been south -because it is too far to drive, although they joke it is because they don't speak the language (if a N.Swede and a Southern Swede start speaking at the same time, the Southern Swede will have finished his sentence and his drink by the time the N.Swede finishes the same sentence).

Our first stop is Nykopping, which is a charming town (although in America, I think you'd call it a small boutique strip mall and a dock rather than a whole town). I'd recommend seeing it, but like so many things in these Lutheran countries, you'll have to make it before 6pm or noon on Saturday, because the rest of the week they are CLOSED. I always wonder how these shops make any money, if everyone else is working during their open hours? There must be some govt. assistance (after all, this is Socialistnavia). Also, why haven't the Governments figured out if people have somewhere to go and something to do, maybe Manic Depression and Alcoholism will mysteriously drop? but hey, just 'm.h.o.'

Onward - After Nykopping, we head for Nykjopping (pronounced Ni-shopping). The entire country is made up of towns that sound almost identical or rhyme with one another. It shocks me, more people don't get lost here..however,I think we made up for them during our stay! Nykjopping is fantastic. Super charming, everyone is friendly. However, I can't help but notice - it's 30 years since I was last in Sweden and two things remain the same - despite the EU and everything else. The hotel rooms only seem to have lumpy single beds and the food is still terrible. Thirty Years - in that time, the internet has been invented, cell phones, cable tv, air travel has become insanely cheap and you still can't get a good bed or meal in Sweden! Most of it looks fairly decent like prop food, but sadly it also tastes like prop food. Come on, Sweden -even the English have good food now! Pull yourselves together.

On the other hand...
I found the Swedes to be friendly and warm but in the same breath distant and stern. I like it but I'm familiar with it. My mother's family are Swedish-Finn and there is a lot of time spent hearing about living up to the family, the 'old ones', sisu (something like determination),etc. There are some very harsh judgements but usually we are taught to reserve those only for ourselves.

The wedding is at Mauritzbergs Slottskapell and afters at Mauritzbergs Slotts, for that matter. The castle is 'klein aber fein' and I find myself taking a million photos of the interiors. The wedding ceremony is just like everybody else's in Europe, except that twice during the ceremony they have songs where the couple stand: one time staring at the singer and then, standing and staring at all of us. This I find rather bizarre but practical. Something that you will definitely remember this day by..look around. These people all love you and this is one of the historical dates in your life about to wizz past you....

well, unless it's a Swedish wedding. In other countries, there may be one, two or a few speeches but at this particular wedding, speeches literally last 6 hours and guess what, they are ALL in Swedish (I know that's no surprise, but despite my interest in Scandi-cinema and my nack for languages, I really don't understand speeches in Swedish). It is also Swedish tradition that couples are split up onto different tables so that they can socialize. This works beautifully for my husband who is in his kilt (like catnip for female wedding guests 'of a certain age'). He is seated at a table brimming full of half-drunken fun loving swedes, who translate everything and I hear his laugh above the rest in the hall after more than one joke. I, on the other hand, have been put next to some one dressed like Roy Rogers who I actually think may not speak English and a very well mannered man, who has a child of a similar age (his wife didn't come out of exhaustion) and who spent six years in Lawrence, Kansas selling tractors . Shockingly, I too have passed through Lawrence and we enjoy the 15 minute topical exchange accordingly. Sadly, by the end of the third bottle of wine, I have nothing to contribute about tractors and see he is drinking a great deal more than most of the Kansans I know (Kansas having entire teatotal counties) and the translation skills seem to have gone the way of the second course. So, I sit and think of how Queen Elizabeth must have to go through most of her life like this. Smiling politely as if I understand so that no one might feel put out but bored and exhausted to the point of tears.

At midnight, we are invited to the library of the Slott for Coffee and avec (which is rather redundant to those of you who speak french) but avec obviously means, 'gentleman's desert'. I try my best to dance to what - to my ears are the worn-out hits of Motown, so overplayed they no longer strike any emotion in my American ears and I long for the exotic sounds of Abba, the Village People, Kylie... all the songs the Swedes probably never want to hear again! Despite my exhaustion but gratitude to have switched surroundings, the Roy Rogers character now decides that he will open up and share with me his dreams of American Swing music, of an entire town in Sweden full of - and I kid you not - Rock-a-billies, his trips to Graceland and multiple tours of the DEEEP South! Occasionally, I seem to find myself in these situations, where I feel like a character in a Jim Jarmusch movie bunched together in a strange and incongruent ensemble - this would be one of those times.

Most of my life is spent between feeling like a Jarmusch character or some sort of Whit Stillman/Fellini character bored at the ball, chasing the next afterparty, hiding in an opera stars dressing room,etc. Now is a time I wish I were in my secondary role!!

However, the bride and groom are terribly charming and very lovable and they are also the only people I knew before attending this wedding. I'm thrilled to see them but pass out shortly after a few wonderful hours of hanging out with them and their siblings. I'd like to blame it on the hours of speeches, but it may be more due to the open bar and constantly flowing wine which is mandatory at this sort of event in Sweden (imagine, the bar bill - I begin to see the real reason they wait to get hitched!).

Sunday is spent recovering and driving back up to to Stockholm. It takes so long to get there, that my hang-over is indeed miraculously healed as we park and wander all the absolutely wonderful streets! Stockholm is the perfect mix of homogenious and heterogenous culture at the same time. All of the cleanliness, organization and intellectualism of Scandinavia mixed with the interest in international culture. It's full of beautiful historic buildings, a handful of ultra hip modern ones and lots of stores and coffee shops. We have for the last time of this trip, what I think is one of the worst meals of my life at what no Italian would call an Italian restaurant, I believe with the name 'Bella Italia'. However, as always the service was incredibly polite, friendly and completely mulit-lingual! The coffee houses seem to be more populated than the restaurants and I can see why. However, I absolutely LOVE Stockholm. If it weren't for the manic winters, I'd live here IN A HEART BEAT. I even know what I could do for a living - I'd start a restaurant!